The FakeMintan Wiki

The language of the Goldfish is quite complex, with many overly specific and lengthy words that are rarely used in everyday conversation. Or any conversation, for that matter. Add any words that you know--we've forgotten many things. We're not professional dictionary writers, okay?

Fintan - White Fire

FakeMintie - The-weird-person-who-accidentally-sets-their-hair-on-fire-so-much-that-we're-starting-to-think-that-it's-on-purpose

Dinner - Mochi

Backpfeifengesicht - An annoying Goldfish. Literally "A face in need of a fist"

Hygellig - That warm cozy feeling that you get when using a raccoon as a towel

Tingo - The act of slowly "borrowing" all of your friend's things until they have nothing left

Shemomedjamo - Literal translation is "I accidentally ate the whole thing". It's most often when one is eating Sparkle-Fanny à la Mode[1] and it's so good that you keep eating although you're full.

Pålegg - A term that refers to literally anything that you might consider putting in a sandwich

Mencolek - When you reach around behind someone and tap them on their opposite fin in order to fool them

Faamiti - To make a squeaking sound by sucking air past the lips in an attempt to gain someone's attention

Tsujigiri - To casually test out a new weapon on a passer-by

Packesel - A Goldfish who frequently misuses their ability. This term is also often used to refer to just Goldfish in general.

Fremdschämen - The state of feeling embarrassed for someone who really should be embarrassed but isn't

Pelinti - To make an "aaaaaaarrrrh" noise while opening your mouth and tilting your head around whilst flapping your fins a bit because you ate something that was too hot

Baggerspion - The irresistible desire to peek into boarded-up construction sites

Flaner - When someone yells "I'm naked" and everyone turns to look at them

Gisjeder - A word that doesn't actually mean anything, but you just casually throw it around along with other gibberish to make yourself look like you're actually speaking another language when really you aren't

Helkkhöschèsnarh - The sound you make when you get hit by another goldfish that just ate too much Sparkle-Fanny à la Mode

Fagerbager- The act of one goldfish impersonating another goldfish, being sent to Exile, then broken out by Alvar's Stupid Friend. Ex. FakeMintie's entire existence.

Egerfruyo- What you say if you can't think of a ship while being dragged into prison.

Tuerto- Someone with one eye who is not a pirate

Yuputka- The feeling that something is crawling over your skin

Embasan- To wear clothes whilst taking a bath

Babooshka- a person that always lies

Eventajkit- A very strong insult to those that are Backpfeifengesichts.

Shlaagendaas- A gourmet meal made by FakeMintie in Chapter 8 of Dawnbreaker.

Neencaht - A phrase used when you completely, utterly agree with someone, commonly used when you believe that that person is always absolutely correct.

Dreftönkhlãghęsøpįåtbæhbłöòpνμυψγασοафыошblæhpconkdoraghthfour - A word to politely curse other fish (etc. galaxy rasboras, tetras, angelfish) when they write a really good FakeMintan fanfic and then not finish it.

Shagligab-the act of going on the wiki and commenting/editing when you're supposed to be doing homework

Wœnkÿfõrktætęrtøt - This word is used to curse yourself when you need some dinner but it’s in the kitchen and you’re too lazy to get it.

Crœntégrâghœśtüpįdręmœtëçøñtroõł - When you want to watch TV but your fins are too short to reach the remote control and you have to swim over to get it.

Xértãrçøętwœghúvåñåšætšphmærčãkëłl - A Goldfish that has fins so big that they cannot type out words using their fins. Literally translated as “Fin big”.

Baskaska- Tea for Goldfish

Spill the baskaska- Goldfish way of saying "Spill the tea." Often said in a very serious, evil voice.

Sdemerayjekwittonjotsuehnger - The act of dying so many times in a game until you leave the game in anger. Literally translated as, “I hATe ThIs GAmE sO MuCh“. Known by humans as: “Rage quitting”.

Pnemonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis - A real English word (the longest one in the world, meaning “lung disease caused by volcanic ash”) but in the Goldfish Language, it means a person that is disliked by all other elves/Goldfish. Literally translates to: “the one that is disliked”

Ooficorn - A distant relative of the rare Alicorn. Known by Goldfish for their meat (see below). Species name, Unicornus Ooficorna. Several subspecies have been recognized, such as Unicornus Occidentis Ooficorna, and Unicornus Orientalium Ooficorna. It is also called the Lesser Alicorn, as it bears resemblance to the Greater Alicorn but with less glitter.[2] Diet mainly consists of swizzlespice, starkflowers and brattails, though they may also take mallowmelt if offered.

Oofburgers - A delicacy that is made by FakeMintie in Chapter 11 of Book 23: Dawnbreaker using Oofmeat. (see above)

Sferomonochromgeshardpain - The act of creating a wiki named after a ship, then having many users of FANDOM get excited over it, and then forgetting about it.[3]

Anchaygwrthwynebwyr - The act of declaring yourself a vegetarian and then eating an entire steak the very next day.

Numpfeifengeschist - A word commonly used by Goldfish to describe humans who fall down when being a Strange Duck whilst stubbing their toe. Also know to be used by Goldfish and some tetras and rasboras to curse yourself when doing the exact same thing as mentioned above, except it’s the bottom fin that gets stubbed, not the toe.

Volkerschniden- the awkward person who interrupts a personal conversation

Escarhejwlwljegeiwjúsbnšenata- when you only talk about one topic for seven to sixteen days

Blueglargioldbhjkokokpspsnfkafkeda- A rare disease that make orbs turn blue and clouds appear on their surface.

Echigotyluci- A unique way of swimming that involves jerking your head up and down to move yourself through the water while your arms and legs/fins drag behind you. It is common to see humans swimming Echigotyluci style alongside goldfish.

Cucucucumber- Often confused with the food cucumber, Cucucucumber is a fancy word for "overdoing it".

Gabooshka- a person who always tells the truth

Yeetburgers- a type of burger made with YeetMeat. Yeetburgers provide amazing health benefits to those who eat it.

TotallyNotFakeMintieInDisguise- Totally Not FakeMintie In Disguise

Smãawlareebã- When you know you probably shouldn’t eat something and you still eat it because it tastes good even though it isn’t good for you.

Hÿmischaùlā: When a goldfish swims into a meeting 5 minutes late and everyone turns to stare at them

Vîsckaüalmœcayicislaineôpęra: An exclamation of annoyance most often used by someone who tries to hand something to someone only to accidentally drop it right before the person can take the object

Shlaawrap: Shlaagendaas wrapped in a green pita bread.

Healthfood: Ice cream

Undeadify - To commit not alive.

sR.0.Zt - The name of a beybl—wait why are we talking about this you should be doing your homework. Also when deciphered means Spriggan Requeim S3 0 Zeta in English, but in the Goldfish Language it translates to “Burnt Cookie”.

wV.6V.Rb - The sound that is made when you accidentally step into a puddle.

kD.2V.Hn - A word related to wV.6V.Rb, except that it is translated to the ancient language of Goldtongue, and this word means “to replace“, or, “to succeed”.

aB.2B.At - Literally translates to “one more episode”.

tW.4G.At - Translates to “One more chip, just ONE MORE!”

hoofoof - Literally an Ooficorn hoof

Chicken - Duck meat

Punnnnnnnnns - Dad jokes

Blopping - Sounds that are made from an overly dehydrated goldfish

Confusion - To gain an understanding of things.

Silverfish - Not to be confused with the common silverfish homosapien individuals often find in their leather-bound scrolls, Silverfish are an extremely rare mutation of typical Goldfish, and have much more cognitive capacity and thinking ability. They are also very cultured and proud, as they view themselves as superior to other fish. They can also make large lampposts if asked nicely.

Lampposts - Objects to be taken a bite out of.


  1. Consists of Alicorn meat, porcarots, brattails, carnissa root, umber leaves, swizzlespice, fizzleberry wine, and starkflowers.
  2. Ooficorns have been reported to hybridize with Alicorns, which in turn corrupts the Alicorn gene. Unfortunately, the Ooficorn gene is dominant (the Alicorn gene is recessive) when the two hybridize, most often producing baby Ooficorns.
  3. TheFakeMintan Wiki’s entire existence until now.